yourunichase: (Watching)
I thought I put up a post ages ago, but yeah here's my How's my driving post for Miss Parker. Concrit only, please. Logging's off screening's on. Thanks!
yourunichase: (Default)
Player's Name: Kim
Are you over 16? Twice over
Characters Played Here: Martha Jones, Mae, Ana Lewis, Jess Harding

Character: Miss Parker
Series/Canon: Pretender
From When? Post 2.21.

History: For Miss Parker, it makes sense that her first breath would be of the air that was pumped through the sub-levels of the Centre. When Doctor Raines held her up to her mother, he was wearing Centre-issued scrubs, and her mother was laying on a Centre birthing table, and he wrapped her twin brother in a Centre issue blanket and bundled him away, telling the Parkers that the boy was dead. It was one of the first secrets that the Centre stole from Miss Parker, but it certainly wouldn't be the last.

Miss Parker grew up surrounded by the Centre and its secrets. From the outside, the Centre looks like a perfect building. White, granite and glass, it overlooks the water in Blue Cove Delaware. But appearances are deceiving, and the Centre is anything but perfect. The stone facade hides a multitude of sins, including murder, extortion, arson, and the taking of children and abusing them in ways that are some of the most horrific one could consider.

One of the most important and profitable operations that the Centre runs is called “The Pretender Program.” Pretenders started off as children who were stolen from their families because they possessed a rare gift: due to their tremendous mental gifts, this children could run “simulations” using them to become whoever they wished to be and causing them to learn whatever skills they needed. These geniuses were children who were stolen from their families and raised in sterile environments that deprived them of love, friendship, companionship and even sunshine in order to force them to become better subjects for the experiments.

But things tended to go against the Centre's orders. Little Miss Parker wandered the hallways of the sublevels, becoming friendly with Jarod, despite how much it angered her father. Sydney, Jarod's handler never put as much of a stop to it as he should have. Perhaps he wanted to see what happened, or perhaps it was guilt, but he allowed the two children to become friends. Jarod and Miss Parker shared everything: they were each other's first kiss, and he was the only one that she told her first name. They were as close as people who lived their life monitored by cameras could be.

The other person Miss Parker was close to was her mother. Catherine was an amazing mother, who both adored and was adored by her daughter. They shared everything, and Catherine would often write her daughter notes, allowing her to feel loved. Mother and daughter read to each other, and Catherine would brush Miss Parker's hair and they would just talk about everything, especially what life would be like “someday.” But someday was never to come. By all accounts, most people loved Catherine Parker. She seemed to have a sparkle to her, and she cared about the people around her, especially those who others wouldn't allow themselves to: the children of the Centre. It was her caring for these lost children that would eventually lead to her death.

For the last year of Catherine's life, plans were made in order to help the children escape. A friend was made, and the two had been successful for a time. However, their actions drew the suspicions of the one man that they should have avoided. Doctor William Raines was the handler of at least two Pretenders, and he destroyed their minds. First was Jarod's brother Kyle. Raines used brainwashing techniques in order to create a Pretender who didn't have any mortality. The case can be made that his goal in doing this was to create an assassin in order to murder Catherine Parker. The second boy was one named Timmy.

On the night before her murder, Catherine Parker had been intending to rescue Timmy from Raines' grasp but it was not to be. Instead, Raines used an experimental procedure in order to remove any personality or self-awareness from the boy's head. Timmy became the empath Angelo, who was more of a beast then a person. Catherine found him immediately following the procedure, and cradled the poor boy to her chest, angry and upset. That night she wrote a letter to Miss Parker, telling of her failure to save Timmy.

On the morning of April 13th, Catherine Parker's letter to her daughter was more hopeful. In it, she promised to take her daughter to Europe, wanting to show her a new world away from the Centre. It was not to be. Instead, in the evening of the 13th, Catherine Parker was found dead inside a Centre elevator. Miss Parker heard shots, and she ran to see her mother's body as the elevator door was closing. Mr. Raines and a sweeper (a Centre cleaning agent) came out. In Mr. Raines' hand their was a present that Catherine had promised Miss Parker. Screaming, the girl crushed the parcel to her chest; it would remain wrapped for over twenty years.

Mr. Parker reacted oddly to his wife's death. He patted his daughter's shoulder and told her life goes on. Later, he would tell her that her mother was ill, that she had killed herself. At the funeral, the only person there to hold Miss Parker's eleven-year-old hand was Sydney. After the funeral, it was as if someone had frozen Miss Parker's heart over. The words about her mother being ill worked their way into Miss Parker's mind and she found herself believing it, wondering what she had done wrong to make her mother want to leave her. From the few people she was close too, Miss Parker pulled completely away. Visits to see Jarod almost never happened now, and she went to school as normal people did. Miss Parker remained aloof, going only by her last name and not making friends where she went. Oh, she had associates she had boyfriends, she had fuckbuddies, but she never had any friends. Even visits with her father became less and less frequent as it became apparent that Miss Parker was growing up to be Catherine's double. Any conversations between father and daughter were brief, normally centering around school.

Mr. Parker would only accept the best in grades, and Miss Parker worked her ass off in order to ensure that she received them. Upon graduation from High School, Miss Parker attended UCLA, wanting some distance from the Centre and the memories that it represented. But even there Miss Parker couldn't shake the old Centre ways, and found herself connecting with someone who had a past similar to her own: Tommy Tanaka, the son of a major Yakuza family. He understood how she could be, how she would sometime slip into violence or her own word. Tommy knew secrets, how to keep them and how to respect that they needed to be kept. The two casually dated through out Parker's junior year, commentating in a “long hot summer in Tokyo.”

But Miss Parker pulled away once school began again, and started to throw herself into her studies. Just before she graduated, her father came to LA and said that he was proud of her, while at the same time demanding that she take up the Parker family legacy and come work for the Centre. Really, Parker had no intention of doing such a thing, but he admonished her before he left, saying that he knew she would chose what made him proud. After graduation, Miss Parker returned home to Blue Cove.

However, if she thought that returning to Blue Cove would foster some sort of renewed closeness with her father, she was sorely mistaken. As an adult, the relationship between the Parkers was even more distant then it had been when she was away at school. Despite her name and linage, Miss Parker started out as a sweeper and a cleaner, just like everyone else did. She spent holidays alone, and every year on April 13th, the journey to Catherine's grave was a solitary one.

Work was the driving force in her life, and when she was 28, Miss Parker was promoted to the upper level of the Centre management: the Tower. She moved deeper and deeper within her work, never having relationships that lasted more then a few nights. Her smoking and drinking increased, as did her bitterness. By the time she was 31, she was already showing signs of developing an ulcer. The Centre was eating her alive, and Parker wanted out.

The chance presented itself to her when she received a frantic three am phone-call from her father. Of all of the Centre's assets, the most valuable by far was the Pretender, Jarod. He had escaped from his cell and gone on the run. Mr. Parker's assertion that he wanted “the best” and “someone he could trust” leading the team to recapture Jarod gave Miss Parker the leverage she needed. Miss Parker agreed to find Jarod under the condition that if she caught him, then she would be released from the Centre with no repercussions. (It is said you only leave the Centre two ways, dead or retired which is often the same thing).

Parker's team consists of two other primary people. First there is Sydney, who was Jarod's handler throughout his entire life. There is still a connection between the two as Jarod often calls Sydney to talk about various things including the search for Jarod's parents and past simulations. Further, Sydney is one of the people who knew Miss Parker as a child. The other member of the team is Broots, a computer genius who has a motherless child of his own.

While Parker's team is good, Jarod always seems to be one step ahead of them, but there has been many, many close calls. Jarod always leaves red notebooks at the scenes of the good he does, and more often then not, there is some personal memento to “screw with” Miss Parker. But the actions are not always malicious. In his efforts to find out about his family's past, Jarod is the one who leaves Miss Parker the clues as to the fact that her mother didn't end her own life. He also is the one who informs her about several other things inside the Centre, including the warning of an assassination attempt against her father.

Right before Miss Parker's death, Jarod and she spend a substantial period, of time together. He had tracked down the man whom had helped Catherine Parker attempt to save the children, a Mr. Fenigor. Covertly, he set up a meeting with her when Mr. Fenigor was visiting a bank. Before they could get answers, however, the bank is robbed, with Jarod and Miss Parker placed in the middle. They work together to try to get everyone out, as well as their answers, but Mr. Fenigor panics and gets shot attempting to flee. After Jarod and Miss Parker stop the robbers, Jarod escapes, but with Miss Parker in pursuit.

New evidence leads both Miss Parker and Jarod to a fertility clinic. Once there, Miss Parker is forced to help Jarod save a child who shares the genetic predisposition for becoming a Pretender. Mr. Raines believes that with a refining of the techniques that he had used on Angelo, he can create a Pretender to rival Jarod. It is during this time that Jarod has sent Sydney an experimental treatment to help restore Angelo to Timmy. The treatment works, and with Angelo's help, Miss Parker discovers that she had a twin brother who lived. A twin, Jarod tells her, who is either Angelo or her nemesis Mr. Lyle. Lyle is an evil scumbag. He just is. He attempts to kill Miss Parker and Mr. Parker several times in his attempt to take over the Centre.

Upon hearing that the Centre intends on creating a new Pretender, Sydney plants a bomb in SL27, wanting to blow it up, as well as all of Raines' technology. He sets an explosive charge, and he rigs it to chemical lines that will fuel the blast. No one expects anyone to be down there.

Desperate, angry, and sad, Miss Parker kneels next to Mr. Fenigor's bedside, begging her to tell him who killed her mother. She knows that there is nothing she can threaten him with; he's not Mr. Raines to pull skin grafts off, or Broots to scare, or Sam to order around... all she can do is beg. Jarod shows up, wanting answers as well. For a long moment the two of them just listen to the man who can finally tell them what they need to know... And then with the truth, any peace or compassion or good will is severed with the news that Jarod's father killed Catherine Parker.

The game is afoot once again, with Miss Parker chasing Jarod through the Centre with her gun drawn. Security alarms are tripped, alerting Mr. Raines, Mr. Parker, Sydney, Broots and several sweeper teams to the fact that Parker and Jarod are down there. With Miss Parker out for blood, and Mr. Raines telling her that the Centre wants him alive, Sydney arrives down there to tell them about the bomb... but it's too late.

Due to the fact that the show is so old, it's hard to find good web resources, but here's a wiki with an episode guide for seasons one and two: http://pretender.wikia.com/wiki/Season_1
http://pretender.wikia.com/wiki/Season_2

Personality: Miss Parker's personality is... difficult at best. She was never what one might call a people person. She feels the need to distance herself from everyone, which is one of the reasons that she is known only as 'Miss Parker.' A true ice princess, Parker feels the need to dehumanize the people around her, using insults so she doesn't get personally attached. Even the three most important people in her life (Jarod, Sydney and Broots) will often be called by simply their jobs or “dunderheads” or various other insults. Even the possibility of having a half-brother doesn't dissuade this. After Angelo had regressed into his mentally stunted state, Parker returned to calling him 'Cousin It,' despite the fact that she had been upset and worried for him moments prior.

As often happens with only children of men who wanted boys, Parker has adopted many stereotypic “masculine” traits into her personality and lifestyle. There is a distinct swagger to her walk, and an arrogance to the way she talks. Often she is driven to excess with smoking and drinking. She swears like a sailor, drinks like a fish and fucks like a “man”. Overconfident and competitive to a fault, she can be exceptionally aggressive. This aggressiveness is woven through her entire life, but most especially in the search for Jarod and answers.

In this search of answers, the ends will always justify the means for Parker. When attempting to find her father, she peeled skin grafts off of her arch enemy's back slowly, trying to get him to talk. She will gladly pull a gun on someone, hit them or threaten them within an inch of their lives in order to get her information. In addition to all of this, she can be vindictive and terribly cruel.

For all of her personality faults, Miss Parker is not entirely bad. When it comes to children, particularly of the motherless or female variety, she tends to have a soft spot. As someone who has deep issues based around her mother's death, she allows children in in a way that she allows very few other people. Miss Parker longs for her father's approval both personally and professionally. She demonstrates a fierce loyalty to her father as well as to her employees, Broots and Sydney, who have over time become closer then that. As Miss Parker puts it “they may be idiots, but they're my idiots.” The other thing that Miss Parker is loyal to is her mother's memory and discovering what actually happened to her. In her pursuit, she is both irrational and vicious; while some of the things she learns softens her slightly, the discovery that Jared's father killed her mother destroys all of that in an instant.

Miss Parker's mother, Catherine Parker, was a do-gooder who was determined to save all of the children of the Centre from their fate. For most of her life, Miss Parker believed that her mother had serious mental health issues and killed herself in a Center elevator. However thanks to Jared she was able to discover that her mother had been instrumental in smuggling several children out of the Centre. The night before she died, she was meant to save two more, Jarod and Timmy. The shadowy Mr. Raines destroyed Timmy's mind creating the empath Angelo and started to become suspicious of Catherine. The next day, she was murdered. In a letter discovered shortly before Miss Parker would arrive on the barge, Catherine Parker writes to Miss Parker, telling her that they would be going to Europe on the day after Catherine was found dead in the elevator. These information has started Parker questioning her trust in her father, and in the approaches that the Centre uses to conduct its business. Miss Parker was only brought in to catch Jarod after making her deal with her father that once she had done so, she would be free from the Centre and everything that went along with it. This new information has always been kept from her, and she is more determined then ever to find it.

On the barge, she's going to probably ascribe it to being hell and or Jared screwing with her once again, forcing her into a giant simulation. And she's going to be very, very pissed.

Why do you think your character would work in this setting? Parker was basically tricked into accepting Eli's offer because Jarod received an offer and made her think he was coming here. She thought that she would be able to be returned, with her prey in tow, only not really.

Ironically, Parker would come in as the head of the research center, something that is basically within her blood to do. She's had some experience as a Centre employee before then, and wanted to climb the corporate ladder before Jarod. Welp now she is.

Inventory: 1. large truck filled with: five suits, including one leather, various other clothing/makeup/shoe/things.
2. Lady Glock 9mm with

Samples: And now for the hard part! If you need a prompt for your samples, refer back to the Applications Page.

Third-Person Sample:
The world had shaken. It had shaken and it had trembled as history once again tried to repeat itself. The flames seemed to have a mind of their own, roaring viciously over the corridors. She could see them, crimson and gold like Christmas as they moved toward them. The flames were moving so quickly she felt the heat before the arid smoke hit her lungs. The chemical smoke burned, whatever explosive Sydney had used mingling with the chemicals. Coughing, one hand pressed to her chest, her gun in a white-knuckle grip. When she looked down, she could see the sleeve of her suit, dark even in the fire glow. Words came unbidden to her, Fenigor's words, breathed with no reason to lie 'the man in the dark suit'.

Doors around them blew open, spilling their secrets in sheets of flame. The room where she had been born, where Raines had delivered her, where he had stolen her brother... the room where they were trying to recreate the Pretender project... all gone once more. As it once was, as it now would be. Thoughts of the past spurned her into the present. Parker turned on her heel, running toward the assembled crowd. “Run!” She yelled, her voice losing some of the ring of authority with the rasp. “Run!” The word was said again, minus some of the force. Jarod was felt, rather then seen at her side. He moved one step ahead of her, as always completing the mantra of prey and predator. 'Shoot him!' a part of her brain yelled. But the gun still remained clenched in her hand and against her breast. A masculine tone echoed her words, and Jarod had also issued the order to run. People turned and started to move. She saw Daddy go, his arm grasped tightly around Mr. Raines. Distaste mingled with the taste of smoke on her tongue, and for a moment she wanted to vomit. Words froze on her tongue as she saw the door they were passing.
Inception. The word had never really been defined for her tastes, but she knew that answers had to be inside. Darting left, Parker moved passed Jarod, throwing the door open. The heavy air made her eyes water; it made her gasp. Angrily rubbing at her eyes with her gun hand, she approached the box. Fingers grabbed over her arm, and she hissed quickly. The voice on the other side of the arm had lost the taunting tones that it had all during the time with Fenigor, with Angelo. “Let it go, Miss Parker.”

“No,” the words were spit with venom. “I need to know.” One of the boxes was grabbed and she started going through it, before Jarod grabbed her arm again. He looked at her quickly, repeating his statement, but still Miss Parker remained on her knees shuffling through papers. With a pleading tone, he added the name that no one had called her since her mother died. Her mother had died because of what was inside this room and it was all going to be gone. “No,” she whimpered again. Words were meaningless scribbles, dancing across the page. Suddenly, there was a sound above her head, both she and Jarod looked up, and then blue met brown before the crack echoed and Miss Parker's world turned black.

First-Person Sample: sample
yourunichase: (look down)
A good friend of mine, one who is a complete asshole [Snape] said that this place wasn't a home. He said not to treat it like one. Another friend of mine, who is not an asshole [Cissie] said that this place is your home while you're here. Both of those things are true. Treat it like home, but get the fuck out.

There was a long time when I just wanted to get the fuck out.

When I came aboard, I thought I died. I thought that Sydney had killed me in an explosion on the same level where I was born. This place grabbed me, and I spent a year telling people I wasn't going to fucking graduate. A year. I did shit I regret during that year. A lot of it. A lot of shit that frankly keeps me up some nights.

But then I got better.

People helped me get better. People who I cared about.

People who I fucking loved. [Parker has not publicly admitted to loving Paddy before, but he deserves it.]

I worked in the kitchen, I graduated, I got my first inmate and she almost graduated before she vanished. Then I got an inmate who made me want to rip my hair out in the form of Atia. And then I got Erik and I fucked up and left after the weird dream shit happened.

I fucked up.

I was here for a deal that would mean that someone else I loved wouldn't have met me, and because he didn't end up in my fucked up little life, he wouldn't have died. He wouldn't have been murdered by a group that was worried about my focus, and he would have gone on to have the good fucking life he deserved. Thomas Gates was the best man who I knew in my life before here, and he wanted me. He loved me, and wanted me, and I was going to marry him. He was going to be my redemption before this place was, and he was stolen from me. I'm not going to steal me from him.

I'm going home. It's time, after thirty-three months. I could have just left before, and not come back, but I know how much that sucks. So, I'm here to say goodbye. I'm glad that it's on this day, one more chance to talk to people who fucking mattered.

And you all fucking mattered.
yourunichase: (headache)
Jesus fucking Christ, no one tells you that this travel time shit gives you such a fucking headache.

What's been happening in the kitchen since I've been gone?

[A beat.]

How long have I been gone?

Privates: Erik, Kay, Seven and Iroh, Narvin,George, Arthas, Shego, Sirius, Wanda, Dick, Claire, Hoffman and friends I'm forgetting. )
yourunichase: (grin)
Alright, for dinner, I'm going to break with the tradition of sandwiches. I think for one night only we're going to reward you with a real meal. Something simple. Suggestions?

[OOC: Parker is so very affected, and she's nice. Also, since her last post? Every meal aboard the barge has been sandwiches for lunch and dinner and porridge for breakfast until people actually work in the kitchen.]

[Video.]

Apr. 18th, 2012 01:07 am
yourunichase: (considering)
So. I need to ask: do you people like food? I like food. Food is one of those things in life that make things better.

You know what else there is about food? Feeding this many people is a fucking bitch to do. There are a hundred fucking people aboard this ship (and yes, I'm counting vampires as people too) and that's a part of portions for three squares a day.

It's even fucking worse when you look at how many people are on each shift. [Parker ticks things off on her fingers when she mentions them.] Breakfast: Iroh, Hannibal, Lua. Lunch: Seven, Isaac, Jim. Dinner: Me, Wanda, Hoffman who graduated and Reaver.

In short? We need fucking bodies, people. Sign inmates up to help. Everyone pitches in and things get easier.

[Filtered to Iroh and Seven]
If people don't start to sign up, I vote sandwiches.

[Private to the Admiral]
Ramen. Give me a metric fuckton of ramen in case we need it. I'm taking a page out of Paddy's book.

[Private to Erik]
Where are you?

[OOC: Got the list of where people work from here ]

Video

Mar. 31st, 2012 01:32 pm
yourunichase: (Lyle hand face)
[Lyle is sitting behind Parker's antique desk, and he's got his feet on top of it. At his elbow is a bottle of her best scotch, and it's missing a bit, which has probably been poured into the glass. On his left hand, he's wearing a glove, and he's got several files in his lap.]

So this is where my big sis popped off too. I wondered where she'd gone. [No you didn't, Lyle, shut up.]

Funny how priorities can shift.

I'm Mr. Lyle, and I'm going to be taking care of you for a while.

But not cooking. Let the staff do that.

Erik, I feel like we should talk.
yourunichase: (headache)
Well, it looks like the Admiral dropped me here right at a good time. At least I didn't end up looking like Crane again.

How the fuck long have I been gone?
yourunichase: (joy)
I love this time of year!


Valentine's Dinner menu [This bit was probably not meant to be public, but hey it is.]

Heart-shaped chicken nuggets.
Pink mashed potatoes.
Peas n carrots
Heart-shaped rolls.
Heart-shaped vegan nuggets.
salad (with food cut into hearts.)
Chocolate cupcakes.
Champagne and strawberries.

Chocolate chip cookies with redhots.
Conversation hearts.
Raspberry pudding.

[And then next to Chromie's door there's a box of homemade chocolates.]
yourunichase: (explosive)
Does anyone have any of those self-drycleaning bags? I'm almost out of them.

We need a fucking port.

[Private to Erik.]
Ready to have a grown up conversation now?
yourunichase: (bitch far away)
Fuck ninjas.

Let me say that again. Fuck fucking ninjas. If I ever see a ninja again, it will be too soon.

Luke's doing a cook out, I'm doing fucking poker. Let me know if you're interested.

[Private to Erik]
Alright, you and me are going to have a nice long talk. Pick a place: CES or the pub.
yourunichase: (hair)
[Video post, and Parker's sitting at the pool table on level six shuffling a deck of cards. For those who were invited, it's worth noticing this is where Parker used to hold poker games. It's been a while, but hey, maybe she's trying. At her elbow there's a glass with an amber liquor in it, and an ashtray with a cigarette burning away. From the amount of ash on it, Parker probably just lit it and left it going.

This was going to be a big speech, but after a couple of seconds of not being able to start it, she just says:
]

Fuck it. Poker tonight at eight. Be there or be square. We play for favors, wardens bring booze and inmates are on their best behavior. Cheating earns you the Severus Snape special. [Don't make Parker shoot you in the foot, assholes.] So does being stupid.

[A sigh and Parker locks eyes with the camera]

Don't get stupid.

[Then she flicks the settings on her journal.]

[Private to Kay.]
You and me are getting together before this if you want.

[Private to Narvin]
You're always invited, even if you don't fucking feel like coming.

[Private to the Admiral]
Look, give me someone before the end of the month.I'm sick and tired of waiting. Either give me someone or let me fucking go home.

1.

Jan. 6th, 2012 11:28 pm
yourunichase: (headache)
You know what Admiral? You're a fucking asshole. Christmas is the one good time of year aboard this fucking boat and you put me to sleep for it.

What the hell did I miss? And thanks for the gifts.

Private.

Dec. 24th, 2011 11:19 pm
yourunichase: (Default)
Dear Santa,

Fuck you, I don't want to do this.

For Kay, Una, Gaius, Sirius, Narvin, Dick, fuck you know who I'm friend's with. Give them all liquor from home, news from home and I don't know, something person.

Give Una some amazing perfume and Kay and Narvin some nice guns. Sirius gets a motorbike.

Give Paddy and Sunshine and Snape something from me too, wherever the fuck they are.

Make three meals so the staff has the day off, and give them all some nice booze as well. And clothing.

Video

Nov. 30th, 2011 10:15 am
yourunichase: (explosive)
[Have a shoe, Barge. A left Jimmy Choo stiletto to be precise. A very expensive strappy stiletto which has it's heel hanging off like she'd snapped it some how. The show is dropped onto a pile of several other expensive pairs of shoes, and then there is Parker's ice cold eye.]

You owe me thirty-seven fucking pairs of shoes, Admiral. Good ones, the ones that those little fuckers broke. All left shoes. Every. Single. Fucking. One.

Does anyone have any shoes I can borrow until he comes through? I wear a size eight.
yourunichase: (responsible)
A couple of weeks ago, I told people we'd do thanksgiving, but we'd do it as a home-cooking sort of thing. So, people, give me what you want for home cooking and I'll ask the Admiral for it. Simple and easy. From people other places than Earth, we're asking for your stuff too, and as with everything else we'll do our fucking best.

[Private to the Admiral]
Alright. I've given it my best try, but it's not fucking working. Unpair us, and give her to someone nice or something.

[Friends filter]
I've done it. I've unpaired myself from Atia. I need a fucking drink. And a reason not to leave.

[Private to Atia]
It's done.
yourunichase: (gun jarod chest)
You know there are somedays where I just want to fucking shoot the lot of you.

Yes, we'll do Thanksgiving, we always have, we always will. Next week we'll put up a request board for food stuff. We're going to treat this as a home cooking thing rather than as an American thing. It's more fair that way.

[Private to the Admiral]
Give George a puppy. The kind he'd actually want. And all the stuff to go with it. Don't get cute.
yourunichase: (headache)
I swear to god the next time I go into one of these fucking comas, I am getting off this stupid piece of shit boat.

[Warden Filter]

I know shit happened while I was out, but I haven't gone all the way through shit to know what it is. But someone had my guns. They were fired recently, and I don't know if I'm missing ammo because of the restock.

Anyone got anything they want to tell me?

[Private to Atia]
You and me need a talk.

Backdated.

Oct. 21st, 2011 02:26 pm
yourunichase: (calm phone)
Atia, we're going. Come over and borrow something, and then we'll find you a shop later.

Anyone know what the gun laws are like in France?

[Parker's depressingly diminished friend filter. (If you think you're on it, you are]
Anyone want to do something? If I need to spend the whole time cooped up with my inmate I'd shoot myself.
yourunichase: (responsible)
October fucking 14th. We've still got fucking fifteen more days before things end. At least. There are times when I hate this fucking boat. In the mean time, some god damn advice.

1. Don't do anything voices, mirrors, faceless ghosts or anything else ask you to do. Don't make deals with them for anything, don't feed them, and don't give them fucking blood.

2. Keep a bottle of water and something to eat with you at all times. Self-fucking-explanatory. There's snack food out by the kitchen always. Fruit and shit. Use it.

3. Keep your journal with you. Yeah, I know how hot and cold it is, but do you want to be fucking trapped in the dark without it? The hell you do.

4. Buddy system: Fuck buddies, bathroom buddies, work buddies whatever. If someone is offering to be my fuck buddy, I'll consider it.

5. Do something fucking fun. I, for example will be hosting a poker game on the pool table on level seven if anyone's interested. So, come on over for that. If you do stupid I'll kick you out. But otherwise we play for chips, booze, favors.
yourunichase: (parker book horrified)
Apparently my fudging inmate fell over the fondant railing and is now floating around somewhere. Has anyone...

[An aside to someone off screen] Look. I flapjack told you that I am not a princess. Stop fermenting calling me that!

If anyone finds her let me fafafal know.

COME ON THESE AREN'T EVEN MAKING SENSE!
yourunichase: (bad sign)
Poker? Drinking?

[Private to the Admiral]
Give Atia back her room, please. Restore it to how it was when she came aboard. You can return all of the stuff she picked up in other worlds to me and I'll restore some of it to her personally.

Also, give us the weird alien shit that people asked for their weird alien meals. And that recipe that Rass wanted. But do it in weird circle language. He wants his shit, he's going to need to work for it.

Do they actually get to go home or heaven or wherever the fuck ever? Are they fucking alright once they leave?

Fuck I hate it here.
yourunichase: (Default)
So, Paddy did that request thing, where once a week we'd try to do shit from other cultures or planets or whatever. I'm going to try that again if people have requests.

We're still not a fucking restaurant and unless we get Hannibal Lecter or something again, we're not chefs. We'll do our best.

[Private to Wanda]
You did good, kid. Do you play poker?

[Private to Sirius]
If you mention the fucking snuggling to anyone, I'll shoot you.

...

Thanks for taking me to the CES.

[Private to Kay]
So, we're pretty fucking much the same person, aren't we?

[Private to Atia]
So did you end up as a fucking cobra again?

[Private to Morrigan]
Your inmate wants to work for me in the kitchen. I think you should let it happen.

Open spam

Jul. 30th, 2011 02:07 pm
yourunichase: (flood: banana)
[Parker is a slow loris, and she's trying to avoid being seen as she heads down the hallway to the kitchens in order to find some fruit. Of course, she's hard to miss as Parker, because this adorable little climby creature is swearing like a sailor.]

I am going to fucking kill the Admiral. I'm going to kill him, then wait for him to come back, then kill him again.
yourunichase: (considering)
[Warden filter]

You know, I fucking hate warden politics. I try to stay out of this shit as much as I can but there are somethings I just can't let go on. For those of you who don't know, I was an inmate before I was a warden, [Like that wasn't evident in your last post, Parker.] and because of that, I find myself on one side of an issue more often than not. I've been holding onto this post for people to cool the fuck off, including me, but now I think it's really important and we need to talk about this.

My point from before still stands: there needs to be a fucking line somewhere. This point isn't about Nygma, and it's not about Snape, Mozenarth, Shego or anyone else involved with that incident. I am speaking now about a general fucking issue: invasion of inmate's privacy. I'm not just talking about rooms, I'm talking about filters, and I'm talking about people's very fucking minds.

I'm not talking about the personal-one-on-one warden-inmate relationship. I know not all tactics are going to fucking work on all inmates, and there are some who will need special circumstances. This isn't about that. This is about another warden becoming involved in the situation. When someone else does this to your inmate, it undermines the very thing that makes the Barge work. And it does work--you have fucking people here who showed just how much it works. Me talking to right the fuck now is proof that it does.

I'm also not saying that there shouldn't be some sort of peer review in the case of extreme circumstances someone's own inmate. Abuse, sexual relationships, violence, all of these things are things that wardens shouldn't do to their inmates. People should be shut down over that shit, and it shouldn't be one fucking person to do it. It should be us, working together as much as we fucking can.

I'm not an idiot. I know we suck at this sort of thing. But allowing precedent for this sort of thing is bullshit. We all know that if we let it stand, then some asshole is going to come along and do it again. And so it goes and so it goes until none of the inmates feel safe. And then it'll start on the wardens and people will be accused of defending their inmates which is what they fucking should be doing. It's what we all should be doing. Don't let this fucking stand.

We can't demote people. The Admiral is the only person who can fucking do that, and we know that he doesn't listen to us. But it is in our right to use other things we can do. We can call for a vote of no confidence in Edward Ngyma. What this would mean is that we don't accept him as a warden. I sure the fuck don't. His actions were what created this situation, and he screwed up. He should be punished for it, and we shouldn't rubber stamp shit because we're tired, or we're sick of this, or we want things to go back to normal. Fuck that. Let's all do our jobs here. Let's do our duties to our inmates.

[Bad Ass Women's filter+Everyone Parker's ever drank/played poker with. If you think you're on there, you probably are. People especially on there: Cooper, Sirius, Tosh.]

I don't know about you guys, but I could use a game of cards. And a fucking barrel of scotch. Anyone interested?

Robes, if you cheat, I'm going to shoot you in the foot. [Admission she's staying.]

[Infirmary filter]
Atia wants to work there. She's going to be a fucking pain in the ass and I'm sorry for it. You're going to need to watch her like a hawk, but she needs to learn compassion from somewhere.

If she gets too bitchy, schedule her for mornings and I'll come in and do it with her. Fuck.
yourunichase: (bed)
[OOC: Unexpected triggery content in the comments, based on the fact that she's talking about some of Atia's crimes.]

[The camera flicks on, and Parker looks like complete shit. She's got a giant bruise and a cut on her face, and the way she's moving suggest that she's got some bruising or other wounds that aren't viewable below the red flannel shirt. (Yes, you read that right.) In front of her is a glass and a bottle of scotch that is nearly empty. She's not wearing make up. This is probably the worst the Barge has ever seen her look. Ever.

When she speaks, her drunkness is evident.
]

So, my bitch of an inmate. [Parker frowns.] Got kidnapped by a fucking pterodactyl. [For a moment, Parker holds a straight face, and then she laughs. It's a barking sound, and the way her breath hitches afterwards gives away how much it fucking hurt to do that.] She got kidnapped by a fucking pterodactyl and I lost my communicator and I couldn't find her. Shit found me though.

[Parker gestured to her face, and then she took another sip of her glass.] I got my ass handed to me over a woman I want to strangle myself. I wonder if that's how Janey felt. Or Jessica. Or Laura fucking Croft. Or the Angel who fucked off right after he got assigned to me. Five fucking wardens before I got a good one.

I thought that I was going to be a good one. Turns out I'm a fuck up after all.

[She snorted, and then took another sip of her drink.] Two years I've been here. Well, close enough for it to fucking count. I didn't think I'd ever graduate. I was working towards it, and then fucking Jarod showed up. Turns out he saw me after I got shot. Turns out I had fucking life and all I needed to do was graduate to get the fuck out of here and back to it.

That was a year ago. I'm still here, trying to give Tommy his life back. [Parker touched her shirt, and she smiled a more gentle smile for just a split second, and then she looked back to the camera.] There are times when I wonder if he would fucking want me doing this. If he would want me being driven fucking crazy with someone I hate so that he could live.

I'm really starting to think he wouldn't.

[For a moment she doesn't say anything, and then she flicks the camera off with a disgusted sound.]
yourunichase: (Default)
Atia, get your shit together, we're going to port.

Anyone else need or want to come?
yourunichase: (Default)
Alright until this shit is done, we're having sandwiches for dinner. And fruit. And shit you don't need to cook for.

Fuck this curse and my poor good damn hands.
yourunichase: (Default)
I'd like you to remove all of Atia's personal things from her room, and turn it into a small hotel room with only a bed, a lamp and a chair, please. Also, cut her wardrobe in half If she wants to think she's in a prison, then we'll give her a taste of it.
yourunichase: (shadows)
[The camera turns on, and Parker's in the fourth level staircase. There's blood everywhere. There's loads of it, splattered on the walls and pooling on the stairs, each step dripping blood onto the one below it. As the camera pans up the stairs you can see a body. It's Rinzler's body, and Parker pulls the camera up before you can see the wound in the throat, and that the man's hands are below his body.

She pans around the body, but not showing it as you can see the mine dirt turning into mud when it mingles in blood. There, on the wall is the Operator sign the Following Dark sign, which is a circle with a diagonal line through it. In the blood is Ardent's mini axe keyring.

When the camera turns back to Parker, she looks white as a sheet, and her eyes keep darting in all directions. Nervous fingers keep twitching towards her back and the Smith and Wesson she keeps there. Her voice is soft, and there's a nervous trace in it.
]

I need some fucking help here.
yourunichase: (ready to fight)
Why the fuck is there dirt in my mouth?

Where the hell is fucking Hoffman? Is his warden taking fucking care of this shit?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you, Admiral.
yourunichase: (western)
Now, families of town, please don't think this is any cause for your children to miss school. Remember the best thing for them is not to have idle hands or idle minds.

Open spam, multiple threads encouraged. )
yourunichase: (do I look happy)
Alright, so as you know I'm in charge of the fucking kitchens now. We need more people. Sign your inmates up, or if you don't have a warden you can sign yourself up.

New people, I'm Parker, a former inmate. Deal with it.

[Filtered to Friends. Think, are. ]
Sorry for disappearing there.

[Filtered to Inmates]

Look, don't do stupid. You know you're going to get busted eventually, so leave the weapons with me and I won't fucking tell Rayne where I got them from. Do you really want her to come after you?

[Private to Bigger, added later]

We going to have a problem if I fight your inmate?

[Filtered to Una. Cooper. Sarah. Trip. T'Pol Chang and Slade and Snape. Added even later.]
Poker with Kay. You in?
yourunichase: (bitch far away)
Jarod, you fucking little cretin, I don't know how the hell you did this, but it's got your grubby little paws written all over it.

Let me the fuck out of here, Jarod, or I'm going to find your little red notebook and shove it so far up your ass your missing mommy will feel it!
yourunichase: (damnit)
Morgan. Morgan's door has changed back to fucking Barge normal.

What. The. Fuck? It's Morgan! She's been here forever, how could she fucking go?
yourunichase: (broken)
You know, I really fucking hate the way time works here. It fucks up in your head, making it like you've lived twice as long as you have. This time last year I had everything I fucking wanted, and then woke up to an empty shower running and a blood splattered porch and a police investigation. This time last year I was in a fucking hole puking blood because the Master fucking took over a world and crashed the Barge. It's shit like that, the two memories that are the fucking kicker.

I hate April. I hate the time difference. Fuck this, I'm going ashore, Parker you can do whatever the hell your little heart desires.
yourunichase: (bitch far away)
[Private to Parker]
Where the fuck are you?

[Private to Kay]
I need a list of what's missing from your safe. I want to make sure she didn't keep anything after her little trip.

[Private to Paddy]
You're going to be down two people for dinner. Sorry about it.

...Tomorrow too.
yourunichase: (do I look happy)
In light of all the stupidity going on, I'm going to avoid adding to it and just putting up a post for people interested in a game of poker. Wardens, inmates, open to everyone especially people who I normally play with.

I am just really fucking sick of all this fighting.

[OOC: Parker's three days away from a giant freak out and is trying to not do it. So this and avoiding telling what she feels are stupid assholes off. (Crane)]
yourunichase: (Default)
Well, if anyone could get on here, it would be Broots, so how bout it?
yourunichase: (baby parker loss)
[There's a blurry shot of saddle shows and ankle socks, and Parker sounds out of breath and teary.]

Mama! Mama! Please come back. Please.

[Open for random spam if someone wants to run into a weepy Parker looking for the mother she thinks is aboard because of ghosts.]
yourunichase: (baby parker black and white)
I don't know who took me, and took all of these pictures of my mother wearing weird clothing, and with weird things. [Parker holds up a picture of Catherine who looks, well, just like Parker only with 1960s hair and holding a baby. She then compares it with a picture of Parker herself wearing a red leather suit standing next to her father.]

My Daddy's Mr. Parker. [Oh, the pride and respect and importance she puts on this name.] He's going to be really mad when he finds out about this.

[Her voice drops.]

You won't like it when my Daddy gets angry. [Her voice goes into a little whisper.] He might give you to Doctor Raines. [Raines here is like a terrible, terrible curse word, or the bogeyman or both]
yourunichase: (bed)
[Private to Paddy]
So, Irish, where you at?

[Private to Angelica]
How's it going, Angie?

[Private to Howie]
Let's do our drink tomorrow.

[Private to Kay]
Still pissed at you.

[Private to Sveta]
Can I do anything for you, Sunshine? Provide excellent handcuffs?
yourunichase: (do I look happy)
You know what, fuck all of this bullshit. We're grownups. I'm tired of this. Howie, let's you and I meet. I vote we meet with the two people who haven't been assholes about this: Angelica and Chromie. Do you agree?
yourunichase: (ugly anger)
You know what? Fuck him. I'm not sorry. I was going to apologize and admit that I'd lost my fucking temper and try to explain why, but then I fucking see that he's stirring shit against me in a filter that I can't see.

Neil Howie was deliberately fucking provoking me into a fight. He called into question my being a warden even before this little tiff. He accused me and every fucking graduated warden of being corrupt, a criminal and a fucking being bad at doing their job. He accused us of being fucking wrong for our inmates.

He can go fuck himself. He was intentionally attempting to get me to snap when all I wanted to fucking do was talk to him about some of the shit that was going on.

And every fucking warden who shares his opinion of the fucking redemption process can fucking get the hell out of here too.

[Filtered to Graduated wardens.]

This is bullshit. He called us, all of us criminals, corrupt and said that he didn't fucking believe in redemption. Keep on your fucking guard around him. From everything he fucking said it sounds like his opinion wasn't exactly in the god damn minority. I gotta admit that I've felt like it before, but Howie'd fucking told me that he trusted us more than other wardens. Yeah, and apparently it's all bullshit.

He's nothing but a fucking liar. Also, he used details about my fucking file he shouldn't have. And details about your files too.

[Filtered to inmates]

This is what you have to look forward to. Congratulations. So much for the wardens believing in us, huh? Be wary, he had details from the files of myself and other inmates that he fucking shouldn't.

[Private to Aleera]
I want to talk to you.
yourunichase: (Watching)
Tonight I found that fucking idiot Hoffman in level 8, room 11, Amanda Young's room. Guess what he was doing? He killed Amanda and had assaulted T'Pol and threatened to kill her as well. I subdued him with non-lethal force when he attempted to attack me, and then I dragged his ass to the infirmary so they could take care of the bullet wounds.

Someone needs to put these two on a fucking leash

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yourunichase: (Default)
Miss Parker

September 2013

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