yourunichase: (look down)
A good friend of mine, one who is a complete asshole [Snape] said that this place wasn't a home. He said not to treat it like one. Another friend of mine, who is not an asshole [Cissie] said that this place is your home while you're here. Both of those things are true. Treat it like home, but get the fuck out.

There was a long time when I just wanted to get the fuck out.

When I came aboard, I thought I died. I thought that Sydney had killed me in an explosion on the same level where I was born. This place grabbed me, and I spent a year telling people I wasn't going to fucking graduate. A year. I did shit I regret during that year. A lot of it. A lot of shit that frankly keeps me up some nights.

But then I got better.

People helped me get better. People who I cared about.

People who I fucking loved. [Parker has not publicly admitted to loving Paddy before, but he deserves it.]

I worked in the kitchen, I graduated, I got my first inmate and she almost graduated before she vanished. Then I got an inmate who made me want to rip my hair out in the form of Atia. And then I got Erik and I fucked up and left after the weird dream shit happened.

I fucked up.

I was here for a deal that would mean that someone else I loved wouldn't have met me, and because he didn't end up in my fucked up little life, he wouldn't have died. He wouldn't have been murdered by a group that was worried about my focus, and he would have gone on to have the good fucking life he deserved. Thomas Gates was the best man who I knew in my life before here, and he wanted me. He loved me, and wanted me, and I was going to marry him. He was going to be my redemption before this place was, and he was stolen from me. I'm not going to steal me from him.

I'm going home. It's time, after thirty-three months. I could have just left before, and not come back, but I know how much that sucks. So, I'm here to say goodbye. I'm glad that it's on this day, one more chance to talk to people who fucking mattered.

And you all fucking mattered.
yourunichase: (headache)
Jesus fucking Christ, no one tells you that this travel time shit gives you such a fucking headache.

What's been happening in the kitchen since I've been gone?

[A beat.]

How long have I been gone?

Privates: Erik, Kay, Seven and Iroh, Narvin,George, Arthas, Shego, Sirius, Wanda, Dick, Claire, Hoffman and friends I'm forgetting. )
yourunichase: (grin)
Alright, for dinner, I'm going to break with the tradition of sandwiches. I think for one night only we're going to reward you with a real meal. Something simple. Suggestions?

[OOC: Parker is so very affected, and she's nice. Also, since her last post? Every meal aboard the barge has been sandwiches for lunch and dinner and porridge for breakfast until people actually work in the kitchen.]

[Video.]

Apr. 18th, 2012 01:07 am
yourunichase: (considering)
So. I need to ask: do you people like food? I like food. Food is one of those things in life that make things better.

You know what else there is about food? Feeding this many people is a fucking bitch to do. There are a hundred fucking people aboard this ship (and yes, I'm counting vampires as people too) and that's a part of portions for three squares a day.

It's even fucking worse when you look at how many people are on each shift. [Parker ticks things off on her fingers when she mentions them.] Breakfast: Iroh, Hannibal, Lua. Lunch: Seven, Isaac, Jim. Dinner: Me, Wanda, Hoffman who graduated and Reaver.

In short? We need fucking bodies, people. Sign inmates up to help. Everyone pitches in and things get easier.

[Filtered to Iroh and Seven]
If people don't start to sign up, I vote sandwiches.

[Private to the Admiral]
Ramen. Give me a metric fuckton of ramen in case we need it. I'm taking a page out of Paddy's book.

[Private to Erik]
Where are you?

[OOC: Got the list of where people work from here ]
yourunichase: (hair)
[Video post, and Parker's sitting at the pool table on level six shuffling a deck of cards. For those who were invited, it's worth noticing this is where Parker used to hold poker games. It's been a while, but hey, maybe she's trying. At her elbow there's a glass with an amber liquor in it, and an ashtray with a cigarette burning away. From the amount of ash on it, Parker probably just lit it and left it going.

This was going to be a big speech, but after a couple of seconds of not being able to start it, she just says:
]

Fuck it. Poker tonight at eight. Be there or be square. We play for favors, wardens bring booze and inmates are on their best behavior. Cheating earns you the Severus Snape special. [Don't make Parker shoot you in the foot, assholes.] So does being stupid.

[A sigh and Parker locks eyes with the camera]

Don't get stupid.

[Then she flicks the settings on her journal.]

[Private to Kay.]
You and me are getting together before this if you want.

[Private to Narvin]
You're always invited, even if you don't fucking feel like coming.

[Private to the Admiral]
Look, give me someone before the end of the month.I'm sick and tired of waiting. Either give me someone or let me fucking go home.

1.

Jan. 6th, 2012 11:28 pm
yourunichase: (headache)
You know what Admiral? You're a fucking asshole. Christmas is the one good time of year aboard this fucking boat and you put me to sleep for it.

What the hell did I miss? And thanks for the gifts.

Private.

Dec. 24th, 2011 11:19 pm
yourunichase: (Default)
Dear Santa,

Fuck you, I don't want to do this.

For Kay, Una, Gaius, Sirius, Narvin, Dick, fuck you know who I'm friend's with. Give them all liquor from home, news from home and I don't know, something person.

Give Una some amazing perfume and Kay and Narvin some nice guns. Sirius gets a motorbike.

Give Paddy and Sunshine and Snape something from me too, wherever the fuck they are.

Make three meals so the staff has the day off, and give them all some nice booze as well. And clothing.

Backdated.

Oct. 21st, 2011 02:26 pm
yourunichase: (calm phone)
Atia, we're going. Come over and borrow something, and then we'll find you a shop later.

Anyone know what the gun laws are like in France?

[Parker's depressingly diminished friend filter. (If you think you're on it, you are]
Anyone want to do something? If I need to spend the whole time cooped up with my inmate I'd shoot myself.
yourunichase: (responsible)
October fucking 14th. We've still got fucking fifteen more days before things end. At least. There are times when I hate this fucking boat. In the mean time, some god damn advice.

1. Don't do anything voices, mirrors, faceless ghosts or anything else ask you to do. Don't make deals with them for anything, don't feed them, and don't give them fucking blood.

2. Keep a bottle of water and something to eat with you at all times. Self-fucking-explanatory. There's snack food out by the kitchen always. Fruit and shit. Use it.

3. Keep your journal with you. Yeah, I know how hot and cold it is, but do you want to be fucking trapped in the dark without it? The hell you do.

4. Buddy system: Fuck buddies, bathroom buddies, work buddies whatever. If someone is offering to be my fuck buddy, I'll consider it.

5. Do something fucking fun. I, for example will be hosting a poker game on the pool table on level seven if anyone's interested. So, come on over for that. If you do stupid I'll kick you out. But otherwise we play for chips, booze, favors.
yourunichase: (bad sign)
Poker? Drinking?

[Private to the Admiral]
Give Atia back her room, please. Restore it to how it was when she came aboard. You can return all of the stuff she picked up in other worlds to me and I'll restore some of it to her personally.

Also, give us the weird alien shit that people asked for their weird alien meals. And that recipe that Rass wanted. But do it in weird circle language. He wants his shit, he's going to need to work for it.

Do they actually get to go home or heaven or wherever the fuck ever? Are they fucking alright once they leave?

Fuck I hate it here.
yourunichase: (Default)
So, Paddy did that request thing, where once a week we'd try to do shit from other cultures or planets or whatever. I'm going to try that again if people have requests.

We're still not a fucking restaurant and unless we get Hannibal Lecter or something again, we're not chefs. We'll do our best.

[Private to Wanda]
You did good, kid. Do you play poker?

[Private to Sirius]
If you mention the fucking snuggling to anyone, I'll shoot you.

...

Thanks for taking me to the CES.

[Private to Kay]
So, we're pretty fucking much the same person, aren't we?

[Private to Atia]
So did you end up as a fucking cobra again?

[Private to Morrigan]
Your inmate wants to work for me in the kitchen. I think you should let it happen.
yourunichase: (considering)
[Warden filter]

You know, I fucking hate warden politics. I try to stay out of this shit as much as I can but there are somethings I just can't let go on. For those of you who don't know, I was an inmate before I was a warden, [Like that wasn't evident in your last post, Parker.] and because of that, I find myself on one side of an issue more often than not. I've been holding onto this post for people to cool the fuck off, including me, but now I think it's really important and we need to talk about this.

My point from before still stands: there needs to be a fucking line somewhere. This point isn't about Nygma, and it's not about Snape, Mozenarth, Shego or anyone else involved with that incident. I am speaking now about a general fucking issue: invasion of inmate's privacy. I'm not just talking about rooms, I'm talking about filters, and I'm talking about people's very fucking minds.

I'm not talking about the personal-one-on-one warden-inmate relationship. I know not all tactics are going to fucking work on all inmates, and there are some who will need special circumstances. This isn't about that. This is about another warden becoming involved in the situation. When someone else does this to your inmate, it undermines the very thing that makes the Barge work. And it does work--you have fucking people here who showed just how much it works. Me talking to right the fuck now is proof that it does.

I'm also not saying that there shouldn't be some sort of peer review in the case of extreme circumstances someone's own inmate. Abuse, sexual relationships, violence, all of these things are things that wardens shouldn't do to their inmates. People should be shut down over that shit, and it shouldn't be one fucking person to do it. It should be us, working together as much as we fucking can.

I'm not an idiot. I know we suck at this sort of thing. But allowing precedent for this sort of thing is bullshit. We all know that if we let it stand, then some asshole is going to come along and do it again. And so it goes and so it goes until none of the inmates feel safe. And then it'll start on the wardens and people will be accused of defending their inmates which is what they fucking should be doing. It's what we all should be doing. Don't let this fucking stand.

We can't demote people. The Admiral is the only person who can fucking do that, and we know that he doesn't listen to us. But it is in our right to use other things we can do. We can call for a vote of no confidence in Edward Ngyma. What this would mean is that we don't accept him as a warden. I sure the fuck don't. His actions were what created this situation, and he screwed up. He should be punished for it, and we shouldn't rubber stamp shit because we're tired, or we're sick of this, or we want things to go back to normal. Fuck that. Let's all do our jobs here. Let's do our duties to our inmates.

[Bad Ass Women's filter+Everyone Parker's ever drank/played poker with. If you think you're on there, you probably are. People especially on there: Cooper, Sirius, Tosh.]

I don't know about you guys, but I could use a game of cards. And a fucking barrel of scotch. Anyone interested?

Robes, if you cheat, I'm going to shoot you in the foot. [Admission she's staying.]

[Infirmary filter]
Atia wants to work there. She's going to be a fucking pain in the ass and I'm sorry for it. You're going to need to watch her like a hawk, but she needs to learn compassion from somewhere.

If she gets too bitchy, schedule her for mornings and I'll come in and do it with her. Fuck.
yourunichase: (Default)
Alright until this shit is done, we're having sandwiches for dinner. And fruit. And shit you don't need to cook for.

Fuck this curse and my poor good damn hands.
yourunichase: (western)
Now, families of town, please don't think this is any cause for your children to miss school. Remember the best thing for them is not to have idle hands or idle minds.

Open spam, multiple threads encouraged. )
yourunichase: (do I look happy)
Alright, so as you know I'm in charge of the fucking kitchens now. We need more people. Sign your inmates up, or if you don't have a warden you can sign yourself up.

New people, I'm Parker, a former inmate. Deal with it.

[Filtered to Friends. Think, are. ]
Sorry for disappearing there.

[Filtered to Inmates]

Look, don't do stupid. You know you're going to get busted eventually, so leave the weapons with me and I won't fucking tell Rayne where I got them from. Do you really want her to come after you?

[Private to Bigger, added later]

We going to have a problem if I fight your inmate?

[Filtered to Una. Cooper. Sarah. Trip. T'Pol Chang and Slade and Snape. Added even later.]
Poker with Kay. You in?
yourunichase: (damnit)
Morgan. Morgan's door has changed back to fucking Barge normal.

What. The. Fuck? It's Morgan! She's been here forever, how could she fucking go?
yourunichase: (do I look happy)
In light of all the stupidity going on, I'm going to avoid adding to it and just putting up a post for people interested in a game of poker. Wardens, inmates, open to everyone especially people who I normally play with.

I am just really fucking sick of all this fighting.

[OOC: Parker's three days away from a giant freak out and is trying to not do it. So this and avoiding telling what she feels are stupid assholes off. (Crane)]
yourunichase: (bed)
[Private to Paddy]
So, Irish, where you at?

[Private to Angelica]
How's it going, Angie?

[Private to Howie]
Let's do our drink tomorrow.

[Private to Kay]
Still pissed at you.

[Private to Sveta]
Can I do anything for you, Sunshine? Provide excellent handcuffs?
yourunichase: (half face)
[Filtered to Graduates: Marquis, Aleera, Snape, Paddy, Prefect, Judas.]

You know, I think if it had been any of us that have pulled this shit Narvin did, our asses would have been demoted. What do you think?

[Private to Prefect]
You have the right idea. This is bullshit.

[Private to Paddy.]
Let's go shoot shit.
yourunichase: (don't hang up)
One person makes a kindergarten crack....

Yeah, I know, a shit teacher. [Actually, she wasn't but that's beside the point.]

[Private to Paddy]

Where are you?

[Private to Parker]

Let's go for a walk.
yourunichase: (gun pointed)
Seriously, if you want to fucking kill people, just shoot or stab them. This heart ripped out thing sucks.

I've died on fire and being shot and being disintegrated and this sucks the most.

The only thing good is that my damn hair grew back.

[Private to Parker]

What's your status?

[Private to Paddy]

You better be fucking alive.

[People in zero filter]

Are you all right?
yourunichase: (Hunting season)
If it's not one thing it's a fucking nother.

Parker, Jude, Adam, I haven't heard from you lately.
yourunichase: (parker book horrified)
I am never going to get that song out of my fucking head. Ever. I think it might be fucking following me.

[Even now Parker is snapping her fingers to it; please shoot her.]

And uh... thanks for the Christmas presents, I forgot to mention that.

[Private to Parker]

Alright, now that I'm my normal self, how about we have an actual meeting in the pub?

[Private to Laura]

How's it going, kiddo?

Video

Dec. 17th, 2010 06:13 pm
yourunichase: (smiling)
[Have a happy, relaxed looking Parker wearing a truly horrible sweater, one she refused to wear during port. She's holding a cup of eggnog and standing in front of an ornately decorated fireplace. The one in her room if you've been there before. In her hair there's a giant red bow.]

Christmas, it's lovely. I am so glad I'm here for it. I can't bake like Rex, so you should stop by for some eggnog. It's great, just like my Dad used to make.

[Added later, and Parker looks embarrassed.]

I've been assigned an inmate. Parker, you and me need to meet!

[Private to Paddy.]

[A big grin.]

I really owe you an apology. I didn't think mistletoe worked like that I was wrong.

[Private to Uhura]

Sorry I was a bitch to you before. It just really looked wrong and I know how much you hate me. It's alright though, I like you.
yourunichase: (do I look happy)
I really fucking love the barge at this time of year. I fucking can't say that enough. Christmas is amazing.

I'm not mad at anything right now.

Also, be sure you play with the mistletoe and break it; it makes the effects all the more magical.

Private letter to Santa, written before the flood hit. )
yourunichase: (look down)
Well now that all of that bullshit is done...


[Added after, with Kota approval.]

Who can fucking cook a turkey?

[Private to the Admiral]
Alright, asshole, the last week sucked, but give us turkey's for Thanksgiving. Turkeys and all the things that goes with them. We need a good fucking meal.

[Private to Paddy.]
How much do you know about Thanksgiving?
yourunichase: (bad sign)
I'm bringing Tim Drake into the infirmary; he's suffering from some kind of barge coma.

[Private to Shego.]

I found him, he's breathing but he won't wake up, I'm going to dump him into the bed next to you and let Martha and Sveta handle him.

[Private to Paddy]

You have one shitty coupon to redeem when you catch up on sleep.
yourunichase: (do I look happy)
Alright fuck this place. You know what I remembered? We have a pool. Anyone care for some recreational activity to calm the fuck down?

If all else fails I've got beer and scotch and an item to get me in there.
yourunichase: (sleep)
[There is a click and a movement, because Parker's come back with her journal in her hand, and has accidentally turned it on as she pulled her hand closer to her face. Her voice is a still sleeping mumble.]

Goodbye, Tommy.

[And then she stretched and looks toward the window and realizes... that's not her view.]

What the fucking hell?

[The communicator is dropped onto the floor and Parker moves over in PJs to try to open the window and can't clearly.]

Where the fuck am I?

[Barge amnesea will only last until she sees someone she knows. Then there will probably be more spam later when she talks to someone about how this place changed her so much she couldn't kill Brigitte. ]
yourunichase: (do I look happy)
Well, it could have been worse.

Funny, you would have thought I'd forgotten how to do that when I became myself but I didn't.

So, everyone back in one piece? Genius boy, you fuck off too?

Angelica, you okay?
yourunichase: (parker syd)
Does anyone else have a weird sense of waiting for something?

[Private to Paddy and Judas, separate-like]

Doing better?

[Private to Aleera]

I wanna talk to you about something?

[Private to Denise.]

So what the hell do I need to do to graduate?

[Private to Jarod-voice.]

Are you alive, wonderboy?
yourunichase: (bad sign)
Dear Admiral Fuckup:

You're a sadistic bastard. I hope you know that.

[Private to Laura.]

How are you doing since we got back? Do you wanna... have a drink or something?

[Separate Privates to Parker's people: Adam, Malc, Irene, Bela, Ned, Aleera, Jarod, more people that my brain is blanking on. If you think you should be here, ya are.]

Are you alive and out there?

Voice.

Aug. 21st, 2010 05:22 pm
yourunichase: (gun)
One fucking person calls me Catherine Lyle, and I'll personally remove your larynx with a spoon and a smile.

Right, where the fuck are my people? Denise, Jarod, Green, Jude, Mulder, check in please.

I wanna get out of here.

Laura, you're Paddy's inmate, right?

[Parker is totally pacing in one of the rooms, but she's not stupid enough to go below alone. Spam this up if ya wanna. I may be going out for a bit this evening, but I'll tag when I get back.]

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