[Video.]

[yourunichase]

So. I need to ask: do you people like food? I like food. Food is one of those things in life that make things better.

You know what else there is about food? Feeding this many people is a fucking bitch to do. There are a hundred fucking people aboard this ship (and yes, I'm counting vampires as people too) and that's a part of portions for three squares a day.

It's even fucking worse when you look at how many people are on each shift. [Parker ticks things off on her fingers when she mentions them.] Breakfast: Iroh, Hannibal, Lua. Lunch: Seven, Isaac, Jim. Dinner: Me, Wanda, Hoffman who graduated and Reaver.

In short? We need fucking bodies, people. Sign inmates up to help. Everyone pitches in and things get easier.

[Filtered to Iroh and Seven]
If people don't start to sign up, I vote sandwiches.

[Private to the Admiral]
Ramen. Give me a metric fuckton of ramen in case we need it. I'm taking a page out of Paddy's book.

[Private to Erik]
Where are you?

[OOC: Got the list of where people work from here ]

Comments

Private; no way this can go wrong

[peter_vincent]

[Oh, guess who's inmate doesn't have a job? Yup, this guy's. Right here.]

I got one I can send your way. Just one question: is there any fire in the kitchen? From the stoves or... anything at all?

[yourunichase]

[...]

Have you ever actually been to a kitchen?

[peter_vincent]

You mean, one on a magical spaceship jail that occasionally turns people into walking mood rings? No, sorry, can't say I have before. I should get on that, though. My to-do list and all that.

[yourunichase]

[Parker just glares and severely wants to punch Peter for a moment before she just scowls and adds.]

Yes, there is fire in the kitchen, you complete fucking idiot.

[peter_vincent]

Well, now. That is a bit of a problem. Unless you'd rather your employees possibly dying by sudden fireball, I probably shouldn't put John in there.

[some_kinda_hero]

Yeah, good luck with the help wanted ad. Kay and I both have been asking for help and so far, I'm still understaffed in the gym. If my dogs could multitask, I'd so make them help out.

[yourunichase]

Well, if people don't help out, there's always alternatives.

[some_kinda_hero]

I saw yours, heh. I could start closing the gym?

Private.

[yourunichase]

Closing the gym is more likely to do harm than good, though. People need the gym to work off frustrations. Maybe closing parts of it off?

Private.

[some_kinda_hero]

I know. I was only thinking that that would be what pushes people to help out - no gym, no stress release. [Weak laugh.] But sections could work, too.

[an_abomination]

Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt but if you need someone to help out at the gym I could.

[some_kinda_hero]

OhmyGod, no, please, interrupt away if you're seriously willing to help! We haven't met yet, I'm Claire.

[an_abomination]

I'm Superboy. [Really needs to get himself a civilian name one of these days.] I was going to offer to help out with food, but I'd be a lot more useful in the gym.

[some_kinda_hero]

It's nice to almost meet you. And, hey, I hate to ask this so soon, and I don't mean for it to come off as rude, but I need to know, are you a Warden or Inmate? It's just, Inmates need permission from their own charge first.

Filter

[not_annika]

In the interest of efficiency, I agree.

Filter

[yourunichase]

Good. If we all don't agree, people will just all start showing up for one meal.

[with_my_teacup]

This mean I don't get the job? Because I already told my warden and everything. That's gonna be awkward. [He doesn't actually sound upset. Or triumphant. He's just a troll.]

[yourunichase]

[Takes a troll to know a troll.]

Welcome to dinner.

Filter

[grand_lotus]

Agreed. Though for breakfast, porridge is easier to make in quantity.

[And people'll hate it more.]

Filter

[yourunichase]

Porridge it is.

[Anything that makes people hate it more.]

[Private]

[wecanavenge]

Where would you like me to be?

[darknessb4me]

Why do we even have kitchens?

That's not rhetorical. Just dropping rations on us once a month would be much less of a security flaw.

[yourunichase]

Because how many fucking wardens do you know who would stick around for that shit?

[darknessb4me]

All of them.

[yourunichase]

Bullshit. Food like that demoralizes people, breaks them down. It's not gonna help fuck all.