yourunichase | A crack in the mirror.

[Paddy shook his head,] Parker, if there's one thing I fucking learned, it's that killing people never works out to be justice. The bitch that killed my daughter, and gave me an addiction that should have fucking killed me, thought that she was giving out justice for what I'd done to her daughter.

It wasn't justice. Don't drag yourself into Hell to dump people there to stay. Because the likelihood is that you're stayin' with them.

[He paused awkwardly and had a drink,] Parker, it ain't my place to argue this shit out with you, but... I can't fucking fault her, here.

[Parker got up and she started pacing at that. She had expected Paddy to be the one person who got it. Jarod only got it as far as taking the Centre down, he didn't get what needed to happen. She slugged down her drink quickly before she set down the empty glass.]

We're probably talking at least a million people here, Paddy, between everything that they've done. A million fucking people.

Yeah, but Parker. You start doing shit like that and you ain't gonna stop. You'll feel, I dunno, righteous and powerful, and like you can fucking make shit happen.

[He stared into the drink a little,] You've gotta draw the line somewhere between you and them.

This is me drawing the line between me and them! [Parker scowled even deeper.] What the fuck is the point of me finding out how wrong everything they, how wrong everything I did at the their fucking orders if I can't fucking go back and fix it?

Yeah, Parker, but don't fix it the way they'd fix something. That defies the fucking point of finding all that shit out.

No. If I was fixing things the way they did, I'd go back, torture them both and end by fucking removing their god damn balls. All I want to do is make sure that they can't fucking hurt anyone else.

Then fucking lock 'em up in a fucking box. Then they've fucking gotta live with it.

That's the only fucking reason I ever wanted to punt Shinzon's head off the fucking deck. But... it.. Parker, it might stop 'em, but there's gotta be other fucking ways about it.

Are you even listening to me? There isn't anything that can hold them! The government can't, I know it. I did clean up for them for years. There isn't anything that can harm the Centre but taking them down, and the Triumvirate and destroying them.

They have killed so many people, Paddy. And they won't stop.

Yeah, I'm fucking listening. But I ain't gonna agree with you. And Parker, you worked for them, you did all this fucking shit, you were in fucking arm deep, right?

So if anyone can fucking hold 'em, anyone can fucking fix this without just slamming a bullet in someone's brain, you can. You fucking well can.

[Parker looked very nearly murderous right now, and her steps were sharp, hard and pointed.]

I did what I did because I was fucking raised to do it, Paddy. Raised by them!

[She pointed harshly at him.]

You're supposed to be on my god damn side!

[At that, Paddy looked outright affonted,] I am on your fucking side. I'm trying to fucking tell you you're better than just shooting the fucks in the head.

Far fucking better than that, Parker. You ain't gonna convince me otherwise.

[He really didn't know enough about this and the only reason he was keeping it up was because he gave a damn.]

[She made a little growling sound with that and her hands balled up at her sides. Parker was angry at that, she was angry at Denise and she was pissed as fucking hell that she had all of this knowledge that she couldn't do anything about right now. Eventually, after she made the deal for Tommy's long and happy life (away from her) she'd go back and take the Centre down, and this was a major part of it.]

Some people deserve to die.

[He got to his feet and went to his cupboard, unlocking it, and searching around amongst his shoes in the bottom, pulling out one of his handguns. The 'hot' one, not that it mattered.]

Alright then. Go out there and kill every fucking genocidal inmate, because there's a damn handful of them. Take Sexby out too.

[He held the gun out to her,] Go on. They deserve to die too, don't they?

[He trusted her enough for her to see that he was making a point and not to go do it.]

[Parker scowled at him when he offered her the gun, and she didn't touch it.]

The fucking difference is that they're here because something fucking thinks they can't be redeemed. My father [that tone again] and Raines can't be. They can't redeemed, they can't be reasoned with and they can't be left alive.

[Paddy put the gun back and raised an eyebrow at her,] You fucking sure about that, Parker? Because fuck, whichever fuckwad thought some of the fucks here can be redeemed has pretty broad standards.

Redemption has pretty broad standards. So if you're entirely and utterly fucking, 100% sure that they're pure fucking evil, and I mean that in the truest sense of the fucking word, fine, go shoot 'em.

But if you've even got a tiny bit of doubt about that, don't.

[She wanted to punch him. She wanted to smoke. And most alarmingly there was the threat that Parker might actually cry. She didn't fucking want to cry.]

Raines is. [There was no question about it; Raines had destroyed everything. She didn't however, mention her father.]

Then march him to the gates of Hell, and let the Devil keep him. [Hey, Paddy had streaks of religious in him now and then. Also, he could see this was... bothering her. Well, it should, but he still felt bad about it,]

But if you're gonna change your mind about one of them, are you that sure?

[He wasn't going to mention who the one of them was. Just... well. He wasn't really sure how far to push it, or if he could stop pushing now he'd started.]

[Parker scowled even harder when he mentioned Hell and the Devil. Religion was the last fucking thing that Parker needed. When he asked her if she was sure, she quickly turned away, her hand rubbing against her left temple. She was getting a migraine and her fucking ulcer (Jarod) was making it's presence known.]

I can't fucking turn everything off because of what he fucking did. He god damn well saw to that!

[Paddy ran his hand down his face, and softened his position a bit. He kind of felt he had to.]

What do you mean, exactly? Just... how did he see to that?

How fucking stupid are you? [Parker spat the words without thinking.] My father fucking raped me.

[She regretted it the instant the words were out of her mouth. And it was the real words, not the nice euphemism of 'assault' or 'abuse'. No, this was the straight out word.]

[And Paddy just fucking froze.]

Really, really fucking dumb. [That, and he didn't really read that into things if he could avoid it. He never could understand why anyone's father would ever do something like that. Especially to their little girl.]

I... fuck, Parker, I shouldn't have even fucking said a thing. I... fuck. [He hardened a little, because there were some things he just couldn't... let go.]

Kill the bastard.

[Parker was twitching. She was twitching and nearly shaking. Every attempt was being made to correct it, but in holding herself so entirely rigid, Parker simply had made it more obvious.]

Yeah. Ya see? Denise says I can't graduate because I want to kill him, which makes no fucking sense to me! Logical fucking excuse. I'd kill him, and I'd kill Laura's father if I could.

[Paddy was definitely paying attention, and moved over to her and put his hand on her arm,]

I... Parker, you've gotta talk to her about that. I can't make her do it.

[Long pause and he looked at her,] Don't fucking well hold that in. It ain't gonna work. Please.

[Parker would have flinched if it had almost anyone else. There were three people whom she trusted to touch her right now, and Paddy definitely was one of them. She spun to look at him when he said that she needed to talk to Laura.]

I don't know if I can. Honestly, this is just so fucking new to me...

[She touched the corner of her lip where the ghost in the form of her father had split it, and a part of her felt that she could still feel it there.]

[Paddy kept his hand on her arm, and looked up at her,] Parker, just do whatever fucking works, man.

And lemme know if I can help.

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Re: Spam. psst. he meant talk to denise.