Text

[yourunichase]

I have been giving a warning for swearing in front of my god damn kindergarteners.

I'm going to shoot something.

Oh wait! I don't have a gun!

[Private to Parker]

I know you're related to me, you're in my family photos. What are you doing?

[Private to Paddy]

What's your number?

Comments

[vinkus-witch.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I'm fortunate enough to be able to swear at the child in this house all I want.

[yourunichase]

You shouldn't fucking swear at kids. I swore in front of them.

[vinkus-witch.livejournal.com]

He irritates me.

[yourunichase]

I don't give a fuck. Don't swear at your fucking kid!

[vinkus-witch.livejournal.com]

He's not mine. Mine was at least tolerable.

[yourunichase]

It. Doesn't. Fucking. Matter.

[vinkus-witch.livejournal.com]

He's from the Barge, anyway.

[yourunichase]

Is he a kid?

[vinkus-witch.livejournal.com]

At the moment.

[yourunichase]

Then don't fucking do it.

because Adam was probably in Parker's kindergarten class...

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

In your defense, that little bastard deserved the swearing.

Dawww Kates, you pick the best PBs

[yourunichase]

Yeah, the little bastard did. Gum on my shoe.

Some people can do math, some people can synthesize an enzyme, I pick awesome PBs

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

He shouldn't even be chewing gum anyway. Aren't there labels on the wrapper that say don't give to kids under...I don't know, under a certain age?

[yourunichase]

Probably not. This place. Fuck it.

Who are you living with, anyway?

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

Morgan, Kirk, that blonde 20-something warden, and I think Randall.

[yourunichase]

Lovely. Well, you know Morgan will look out for you and make sure you get fed.

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

She's about to give birth at any moment. And God knows Kirk can't cook.

[yourunichase]

That's why god invented takeout.

Private, video

[fortytwoseconds]

I'm in high school. [She waves her class schedule at the camera.] What is this?

Private, video

[yourunichase]

You're in high school? Fuck.

That's your life for the next couple of days, Parker.

Private, video

[fortytwoseconds]

I hate high school! There're all these people who want me to talk to them and do things.

Private, video

[yourunichase]

No one fucking likes high school.

And when people talk to you, tell them you're on your period. It should get them to shut up.

Private, video

[fortytwoseconds]

Oh. Really? Okay.

Private, video

[yourunichase]

Yeah. If you get into shit, this is my phone number. [Fake number here.]

Call me if you get into shit.

Private, video

[fortytwoseconds]

Right. Alright.

private

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[Paddy gives her a mobile number and a landline number here]

It's a pub. If Reaver picks it up, swear at him and tell him to do some fucking work.

Phone call.

[yourunichase]

[Ring Ring Paddycakes.]

Re: Phone call.

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

Heeello? [There's busy noises in the background as he talks.]

Re: Phone call.

[yourunichase]

So Uhura is my fucking daughter.

Re: Phone call.

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[He laughs aloud]

Oh fucking hell. How old is she?

Re: Phone call.

[yourunichase]

Seven. Little.

[A long sigh.]

Kindergarten, Paddy. Fucking kindergarten.

Re: Phone call.

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

You ever looked after a seven year old before?

Poor fucking Uhura, mind. Who else you with?

Re: Phone call.

[yourunichase]

I looked after a nine year old, it can't be that different.

And Laura didn't tell you we're fucking married?

Re: Phone call.

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

...Not really, no. A little more, hey, childish.

[He snickers]

No. I think she's a bit pissed off with me.

Wait.

You're married to Laura?

Re: Phone call.

[yourunichase]

[A long sigh.]

Apparently. She's older than I am.

Paddy, the admiral's a dick and we're all in the same house.

Re: Phone call.

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

So now you're, what, in the carpet munching couple of doom?

[He snickers]

This is fucking weird.

Re: Phone call.

[yourunichase]

Hey, fuck you, Paddy-cakes. Most guys fucking like the ideas of lesbians.

[This is shouted, and she got some looks. Loads of them.

Her tone lowers a bit.]

Where'd you end up?

Re: Phone call.

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but you and my inmate aren't on a fucking porno.

I'm in the pub. Rusty Hull. You should come visit.

Re: Phone call.

[yourunichase]

How many teachers you know visit bars, Paddy?

Re: Phone call.

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

You obviously ain't been to school on my estate.

Nobody's gonna care, as long as you turn up sober in the morning.

Besides, who says you're coming for the drinking?

Re: Phone call.

[yourunichase]

This is fucking true.

Lemme check in with Laura and Uhura and then I'll come by.

Re: Phone call.

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

Alright. I look forward to seeing you.

Come by after I'm closed, if you like.